This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
