i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
