Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize