i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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