oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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