goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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