Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
