its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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