That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
