i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
