the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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