Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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