He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
