I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How does it feel to date your dad?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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