if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
