Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
