Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
