your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i now understand why vodka
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
