I skipped work to stalk him.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
