You're so nebulous sometimes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
