Nicole vs. Life
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
