i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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