Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
