Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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