You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
