You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
