i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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