guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
