wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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