Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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