i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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