So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
