Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
