I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
