You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
