i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
