found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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