I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
