I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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