Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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