Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
