My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
