Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
