I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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