dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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