Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
