Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
