My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize