tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize