It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize