Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
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I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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