you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
