Got a toothbrush?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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