One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
These tits shall not be calmed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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