My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
