Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
