I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
