He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
