The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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