she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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