We named our party play list daddy issues
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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