Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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