Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
