Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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