im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
