i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
