No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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